How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation
An estimated 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) at some point in their life, which can cause significant distress.
Ejaculation can be considered premature when it occurs 30 seconds to 4 minutes into sex, depending on different cultures, countries and experts. However, it seems that most tend to agree that any sexual intercourse lasting less than 2 minutes can be considered premature ejaculation.
Behavioural techniques can help you delay orgasm. These include the start-and-stop method and the squeeze technique.
A combination of these techniques along with sexual counselling and medication (either using an anaesthetic cream, such as EMLA or an oral tablet, such as Priligy) is recommended.
As hard as it might be to address the problem with your partner or even your doctor, talking about premature ejaculation is the key to overcoming it. Read on to learn exactly what premature ejactulation is, and how you can treat it.
What Is Premature Ejaculation?
In the simplest terms, premature ejaculation occurs when a man does not have control over ejaculation, and as a result, he and his partner are not sexually satisfied, says Dr. Kramer.
Premature ejaculation can happen in as little as 30 seconds to a minute, and may even occur before penetration.
Contrary to the unrealistic depictions seen in pornographic films, the average time it takes before a man ejaculates during intercourse is about four to five minutes, says Kramer.
Premature ejaculation may occur alongside erectile dysfunction (ED), but not always. “ED can happen to men of all ages, but in younger men, the issue is usually premature ejaculation,” says Kramer. “For men in their sixties and seventies, there is usually some degree of ED.
Sometimes the [penis] just ejaculates when it’s flaccid.”
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
The exact cause of premature ejaculation is unknown, but it's often rooted in physical, psychological, or emotional issues. “A lot of it is psychological,” explains Kramer. “When working with a patient, I may ask, ‘Are you comfortable with your partner? Or do you feel anxious around your partner?’”
Anxiety, as well as other emotional and psychological factors such as stress or depression, can also contribute to premature ejaculation.
How Can I Delay Ejaculation?
There are a wide range of "home-made" remedies for premature ejaculation like frequent sex, masturbating a couple of hours before sex, or having sex with the woman on top.
Thicker condoms: a thicker wall can decrease the sensitivity of the penis.
Behavioural strategies: "start-stop" and "squeeze techniques" often prove effective, but do not provide a long-term solution.
It can take a few months for you to overcome PE with these techniques and many men have to keep using them on a permanent basis.
On average, 50% to 95% of men using sexual techniques manage to overcome PE eventually. There is a risk of relapse if there are significant changes in your sexual life (e.g. new partner, stressful event), especially if you feel anxious. In general, the sooner in life you learn to master these techniques the better.
Men who are over-sensitive, rather than being excessively anxious, might not benefit from these behavioural methods because they suffer from a different cause of premature ejaculation.
What Is The "Start-Stop" Technique?
This is by far the most simple technique and can be done alone or with a partner.
The technique involves stimulating the penis and stopping just before you feel you are about to ejaculate. Stop the stimulation for 30-60 seconds and start again once you feel that you have regained control. Repeat this process 4-5 times, stopping and “resting” every time you feel that you are about to have an orgasm. Finally, let the ejaculation occur, so that you can identify the “point of no-return”.
Many couples and partners complain, however, about the inconvenience of this “game” and find it frustrating. Try to incorporate it smoothly into sex and take advantage of the pauses to focus on sources of pleasure other than the penis.
What Is The "Squeeze" Technique?
The "squeeze" technique works by squeezing the penis in the area between the shaft and the glans (for about 30 seconds), just before you are about to ejaculate. This stops the ejaculation, but may affect your erection, at least until you are stimulated again. You should then repeat this process 4-5 times until you decide not to delay orgasm anymore.
To be effective, this method has to be used for several months and it requires great perseverance from the man and his partner.
The idea behind the "squeeze" technique is that, after a while, you are able to recognize the “point of no return” and may be able to delay future ejaculations. This technique may be frustrating though as it can disrupt sexual activity.
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